Deep Waters

I am in the water, a large lake.
I can see the other side which is a place I know as home- a place that is familiar but not really filled with emotional connection or love.
I am up to my waist in the water and begin to run.
I am mad or hurt, a lover has left me.
I start to run in the direction of home and am surprised to realize I am running on top of the water. It is patchy tourquoise and emerald blue.
I see the water getting deeper because it has turned into solid dark blue and I start to dive in head first.
I move in like a mermaid with a slight arch in my back and I feel my neck as my head is pushed back from the impact of water currents with the velocity of my body.

My Arena

The floor is horribly uneven.
It slopes so that it seems probable that I could fall out of the gaping opening. I see a railing that is barely hanging on. I can imagine myself taking hold of it for support only for it to come loose and fall away into the blue with me.
The view is breath taking, a clear sky, the outlines of tall white buildings very far away: civilization.
It looks as if the whole cube -like structure may break free from the house and slide down the rural hillside. My original assessment is that it is a garage, but it is constructed entirely of plywood and I notice none of the customary garage inhabitants.
I see only the stand up arcade video games lining the back wall. I care only about the Mrs. Pac-Man machine set in the center of the row, and I care immensely.
The unstable surroundings do not deter me.
I can mother-fucking play that game.

For Toddlers

I opened the green door.
On my left, very close to the door, was an ensemble of percussion instruments.
There were five or six men all bent over and playing Fisher Price instruments.
They were all made for kids and the instruments only came to their shins. There were an assortment of plastic colors- pink, yellow, green... and types of drums.
I walked in unnoticed and sat down in the center of the room in a plastic chair, a hard type I used to sit on in high school- steel legs and light yellow plastic.
The sound of the drums was amazing and booming.
I closed my eyes and felt the life force in each boom and was amazed that the sound could come out of drums made for toddlers.

Unborn Newness

The waves are easy going, lapping dog like at the sandy beach.
It is a bland colorless moment, neither sunny nor cloudy, neither day nor night. Perhaps it is early morning, or more likely a space I have created forgetful of time.
It has that February quality, the feel of something ready to burst with life but not yet alive. An unborn newness and sweetness.
Standing with her feet in the water I see my sister, a stranger with familiar mannerisms.
Not far off, her boy friend is lifting something out of the water with a long set of tongs, the type you would use to tend a fire. It takes a moment for me to recognize his catch: a live crab.