Monday, April 30, 2007

Endless Road

I am with two friends on a desolate road in Idaho or Ohio, some place where the roads stretch on for eternity and humans seem small; their roads, lives, everything is small compared to the infinite space around.

We are on this isolated road to photograph the cover for an album. We stand in the center of the road, knowing no one is around for many miles.

My friend is in front of me and I can see through his eyes into the road keeps going straight ahead, gently moving up and down over hillsides, but straight ahead nonetheless. His eyes are like warm stained glass...fragmented yellow, green, and bright brown, they are clear and beautiful and I feel safe.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Without Help

It doesn't hurt exactly, but I can feel it, and it feels very wrong.
Once hidden tissues are pressing out of the gaping wound at my throat. It seems as if my head is hanging on by a thread.
I stand on the street. It bears an air of abandonment, this road that leads off the beaten path. It appears as if I am in a gray and weary industrial park. There is however, a scant trickle of pedestrians, and I am eager for them to notice and help me. I see a black woman and her little girl. They have learned to mind their own business under all conditions. All the same I hope
they will veer of course and help me.

I want to ask for help, call out to someone, but it is impossible to speak with a slit throat. No one notices me. No one who notices cares.

I watch an elderly Mexican gentleman peddle something to passers by. I can’t tell what he is selling but I watch on urgently. I listen intently to his chit chat with the occasional customer hoping that someone will eventually see that I need medical attention.
They are very wrapped in their business, their gossip. They tend to it eagerly. I am loosing a great deal of blood. I’m a horrid mess, but they only glance at my face while relating some
trivial bit of data about weather or politics or what they do for a living.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Dark Blue Water

I was treading water in dark blue ocean waters, my body was bobbing up and down with the currents.

There were sandy dirt cliffs directly in front of me, blocking access to the shore. I tried to climb over the cliff, but pieces of earth kept breaking off in my hands.

I settled back into the water, there was algae bobbing along beside me, swaying with me. My mood was calm, it seemed to be an obstacle that needed another solution, it was a rational thought as opposed to a feeling.

I wanted to get to land...then the cliffs were gone, I tried to swim directly to the shore, but the waves and currents kept pushing me out, further into the sea.

I attempted to start swimming to my right, then I remembered the theory that one is supposed to swim diagonally to shore when the current is strong.

I started swimming again, to my left this time. The water was dark, blue...almost black. I swam confidently and calmly.

Soon, before I realized it, I had reached the shore.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

War of Divas

The colors are wild.
Electric yellow bouncy curls, hot pink sunglasses, black and white striped stockings on legs that are long beyond credibility. The costuming seems to stretch beyond the performers and melt into the scenery, a stage that stretches into the most hidden regions of mind.

Whatever is desired can be conjured into existence upon this stage, the shape of the stage itself is subject entirely to whim.

Whose whim?

It seems that there are only two here of any consequence, only two conjurers, other characters are merely the accessories of this pair of Divas.

The duo are engaged in fierce competition.

Each one wants to be the only one, the center of a Universe she creates to adore only her.

It is a gay battle of titans. Everything is called into being with song.

Sound, color, form, constantly shift as the two attempt to trap and out maneuver the other, create scenarios in which the other might be eliminated.

There is no way to win in a game without rules, a game in which the players are unbound and infinitely creative.

Monday, April 23, 2007


My friend and I are small, the size of faeries, maybe smaller…
We have the ability to expand as well.
We are in a house which changes into a red tent. This structure expands and contracts
with our movements. We are floating in space, it is black and stars are visible outside the windows; but I also feel we are in a deep ocean that throbs and bobs, swaying us gently in dark
Looking out the one window, I see there is a wooden ship outside which is looking for us. When it comes near, we hide mischievously, making ourselves small, at one point the structure around us is almost like shrink wrap (the size of a pea, although it feels large) and I have to poke a small hole in the fabric so that air can come through.

Sunday, April 22, 2007


Everything in the room is beginning to darken and glow around the edges.
The edges jiggle jump and ooze. My heart is racing.
Everything inside seems to slow down and my flesh ripples and crawls so quickly that it must be undetectable by the human eye.
I am sinking fast. The darkness deepens, penetrates everything.
My companion holds me so that our faces are close. I kiss him and my cracked heart explodes, everything hot and black spills out of me.
First from my open mouth and melting tongue, then from every pore.
As I slip into oblivion I know I have been exposed. Everyone can see the contents of my heart in this shattered condition.
The secrets it held bleed into the view of the cruel masses.
Just before my mind and being fold into a tiny pin point and dissolve I am vaguely aware of a girl, sobbing like an animal in the distance.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Dividing Door

I am in front of a door...
more precisely, there is a doorway separating me from a friend; sometimes a door appears, sometimes it is invisible although the feeling of a boundary remains.

My friend is testing the lighting situation, looking at me through the peephole in the door...the sometimes invisible door.

She says she can see my dark shape, she knows I am there...although my details are completely obscured.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Screams in the Temple

A large temple, filled with the flickering of candlelight. Great windows of stained glass surround the place in barely visible colors. Any tiny sound becomes a huge echo in the vast open hall. Two stairways lead up and behind the main altar, which is surrounded by tall, burning cups of fire.
A tall man in a dark robe stands at the head of the altar, looking over all that is happening. His face is hidden by the robe he wears, his hands are crossed and also hidden by the wide sleeves. He evokes a mood of harshness and deep judgement.

I see him from the center of the hall. I know I am safe. But I can hear the screams of others who aren't. The screams come from somewhere behind the altar. I feel the impulse to go and help. At the same I know that this place is Eternal and nobody can truly help the ones who are screaming.

Not unless they know how to ask.

Monday, April 16, 2007


The water is fairly shallow, it laps around my calves.
Before me is a cliff wall that curves out into a narrow peninsula. Both the cliff wall and the peninsula are composed of grayish rock.
There is no easy way out of the water which is calm and opens into the wide sea. The salty smell and feel of it is soothing. I look down into the greenish sparkle. To my relief it is clear enough to see my feet and the sandy bottom.
A strange sea creature swims in with the gentle current. It is an amazing Precambrian creature. Squid like tentacles extend out of its spiraling shell. They have a raw look, tender and coral red.
I watch in awe as its upper half begins to separate from the tentacles.
I am witnessing some eerie evolution, the birth of one creature from another.
My heart is deeply affected.
I feel tentative joy and the sorrow of sacrifice.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Couple Watching

There is a dusty road next to a desolate field.
In the middle of the field, a middle aged couple sits on a large sofa and watches TV.
They are very happy. They wave at passersby. They wave at me
and ask me to come over. I look at them from the distance.
They have created a gentle, simple world around themselves, around
the sofa, around the TV. From their post, higher than anything
else around them, they can see everything.
But mostly, they watch the TV.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007


I am in an old shop, filled with old carpets from the Middle East and antique treasures.
There is a mirror I have been coveting.
I have dreamt about this mirror before or have some strange feeling of recognition that I cannot place. It is a large oval mirror, the size of an adult and it's attached to a solid base, so it can stand alone anywhere in a room.
I run my fingers over the carved, cherry wood....the woodworker has decided to make the edges into waves, resembling mermaid's hair. As I admire it, I discover a hidden mirror on the top- it can be pulled out or pushed back. When I pull it out, the bottom mirror is useless- it has stopped capturing my reflection and only in the square mirror on top can I see myself.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Meeting at the Old House

The carpet is the tan carpet of the custom built homes of my childhood. The whole house has that feel. It is a dark earth toned den from a bygone era of architectural history.
Houses like this one are always a little creepy to me… almost haunted with dirty hues of brown. At the same time they make me feel at home.
There are people everywhere. They remind me of over zealous Amway representatives. The leader is blonde, a white trash self improvement high priest. The lights are dim. We are all sweaty and moving through the room.
My solar plexus is weirdly warm.
Women and men wear sparkly lengths of fabric draped and pined in a fashion reminiscent of costuming for a fourth grader’s school play. Their street clothes are still evident beneath the sequins and glitter, New Years Eve party masks, and feathers.
Bodies weave through the space passing closely to each other without ever colliding or pausing, moving as a whole like a school of brightly mismatched fish.